Elephant Trunk Showers, Jim Halpert and the Blarney Stone

It's been a while since I've been able to post anything. I've had nightmares, or I've forgotten what I dreamed so I was unable to share anything. Those days are hopefully over and I return now with a tale. First, I moved into a vacation house with no showers. The reason being this, that the new law in California was that inside showers were now prohibited because of the electricity they used. Instead, each resident was assigned an elephant that they would house on their property. In return, the elephant's trunk would become your new shower head. Unfortunately, I was not satisfied with this solution, so after consulting with Jim Halpert, we raced to the Blarney Stone in order to find the answers to this problem. I don't remember why it was a race, but before I woke up, I had arrived there just before Jim Halpert. I won. However, I got not response from the stone.

Attack of the Killer Wasps and Hornet

Last nights was pretty terrible. It started out ok, and then quickly deteriorated. I was still working for Aunt Sue in the future. I was assigned to help a client in the area of fashion design (no offense Justin, but she didn't think you would be up to it). I have no idea what that has to do with homeschooling, but that's what I did. So I was doing a little shopping online when Uncle Pete and the kids came over to hang out. It was at this point that I started seeing the wasps and hornets. Naturally, I freaked being afraid of bees and all. So I asked Uncle Pete if they could still sting me if I wore five layers of clothing. He said, "maybe not. but if they do sting you, you'll die." I asked if they were perhaps perhaps passive bees and slow to anger, but he said they were not. Just stepping near one would possibly set it off after you. If you looked out across the ground, there were bees every two feet. There was almost no surface that you could walk and not possibly anger one of them. So, before I woke up from this disaster of a dream, I was running top speed from fifty wasps and hornets in five layers of clothing in the middle of summer in Virginia. The worst part of this one, is that its not that hard to imagine and doesn't seem terribly impossible.
Hopefully, I'll get some good ones this week to share.

My Four Stages of Sleep (rated PG17?)

It was as if something in my brain had a remote control. It didn't like the channels and kept changing them in my head. I remember being in a palace watching over two children while waiting for their parents to come back. Then, I was caught in a sandstorm with invisible creatures making huge footprints everywhere that got blow away within seconds. Then I also remember watching as an evil man carried an unconscious man up to cliff. he dropped the unconscious man over the edge to his death, but instead the unconscious man turned to ashes as soon as he hit the ground. He did not die though. Within mere seconds, I could see him rising from his own ashes and coming back to life. The evil man was confused and afraid at the sight of this and disappeared. In the last stage of my dreaming, I was frying some kind of meat. The meat did not want to be fried, and therefore pulled itself out of my pan and stalked off in a rage. It was so bizarre.

Cortez and the Volcano Whirlpool

It's starting to get fuzzy in my mind now, but this is what I remember from the other night. I was in a long ship, like the ones the Vikings had. Cortez was the captain of the ship, and he was leading a crew from Canada down to Philadelphia where there was a volcano. The mission was to taking the long ship into the belly of the volcano which has a whirlpool of lava inside. We were to ride into the whirlpool to end below the top layers of the earth in order to ferry the souls of the damned. I had a special job on the boat, which I can't for the life of me recall right now. All I know is that Cortez was not happy with something I did, so he pulled off one of my socks. Funny, I lost one of my socks somewhere in the sheets in real life. I also bit my finger in my sleep and my dream. Creepy.

Honorable Mention

Well, last night mom lost her mind, literally, and one of my friends was on trial before the ministry of magic. There was also weird fire breathing entertainment at the opening of the trial. Weird.

X-people vs. Paul Bunyan and Babe the blue ox

A few nights ago, I was an X-woman? I don't really even know what my special powers were, but I had them. Probably something totally not useful. Anyway, I was with a pack of X-people. We were trying to execute some plan to save the world from evil, of course. We all got stopped in the security line leaving the airport. This security checkpoint was equipped with swords for each guard. After our leader got the confusion of our mission set straight, we were allowed to pass through. Immediately, we all spread out and went our separate ways. I was assigned to follow an assassin and make sure he didn't make it to the other side of the island. He was wandering around in the park mall. The park mall was just what it sounded like, a park inside the mall with woods and streams and everything. There was no ceiling to this mall, it was open to the sky above. I scaled a tall pine tree to stay out of site of the assassin. I was watching him from above when behind me I heard a loud voice booming through the trees. Paul Bunyan was coming up behind the woods with an axe in hand to cut down my tree. It was at this moment that I learned he was working for the enemy. The worst part was he had brought Babe the big blue ox. Super smooth talker, one of my companions, came over to help me out, but got there just as my tree came crashing down. I didn't die, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling either. And naturally, there after a few words from super smooth talker, I awoke.

Christopher being Creepy

This is not a dream of mine, but well worth sharing. The first night that Christopher and I were in New York I was woken up by him in the middle of the night. He was rolling around in his bed making strange noises. Then out of nowhere, he said "babies." It was very fast and his voice was really creepy, like he was dreaming he was a zombie wanting to eat babies. It was frightening. He because still and silent right after that and had absolutely no recollection of that in the morning.