Magnetic Gravity Studies and Mink Herding in Ohio

This is really too difficult to explain, but I'll do my best here. I was a magnetic force last night. I don't know what I looked like because I couldn't see myself, but I was also not aware of my strange talents. I'm not sure I even had a body, though I had assumed that I did. Anyway, I was held in a museum while being tested in gravity studies. I didn't care so much for being someone's case study, all I knew was that I was missing the prom and not happy about it. The woman blowing the steam at me said I wouldn't have made it anyway because I would never have been able to get passed the metal detectors. I didn't find that very funny and decided to quit messing with these people. I broke through the glass barrier and took off sprinting. The magnetic field that radiated from me overpowered the security so I escaped easily. Once I was out, I was free to wander in the night, and wander I did. For some reason I ended up in Ohio on the top of a large hill. There I spot a herd of minks or rather, they were being herded by some Elf. As far as I know, minks don't travel in herds. I would also find it hard to believe that they would just be hanging out in Ohio, but who knows.

High Blood Pressure Dragons, Verbal Gardens, and "The Cure"

I think I was in an Oregon Trail type game. I was only surviving glass woman. I glowed. It was kinda cool. Anyway, my brother and I made our way to an international camp ground when he disappeared. When I realized he was gone, I went looking for him. I came across a field of angry dragons and decided the best way to search would be by air. So I pulled my special spherical tire bike up onto the roof of the stable and drove off. Obviously, I could make my bike fly with my mind, so I scanned the ground below me. There were soldiers scattered through the field of angry dragons. They were running around like someone might if they were lost in a maze. My brother had fled the scene to retrieve "the cure." Honestly, you're guess is as good as mine, but "the cure" was not an idea or information, it was a physical, tangible object possibly in nucleic form. Then someone I know, who happened to be on the ground, stopped me in midair with his mind. I float back down to the ground and followed him into a verbal garden. He told me not to worry about the dragons. They were just having high blood pressure today. Instead, he asked me if I could account for all my past nicknames. I'm not even sure I know what that means, but I just knew that he wasn't supposed to know anything about that. It was startling, so I ran for it. I just thought of a hilarious comparison to make with my reaction, but I can't write it because I would not be the only person embarrassed by it. So anyway, I was busy being chased right before I woke up.

Honorable Mention

Two nights ago I was attacked by the KGB. They came to my house and forked it. Not the lawn, the house. They forked the house. I don't think they came to kill me or harm me, but they more or less came to intimidate me. Then one of my friends ran off with one of the KGB guys. His name was Slav.

Honorable Mention

Last night I stalked a witch. I followed her through a Czechs candle department store and into a great concert hall where she was quest speaking. No, not guest speaking, quest speaking. She stood in front of a large crowd of fans to share about questing. I'll add more as I remember it.

The Garden of the sun god and his infestation of Multi-Colored Jello Elephants

It's hard to say exactly where I was. I think Spain. I can't even remember all the parts to this story. I think it was a three-parter, but I only remember the last one well enough to share. I went over to see my friend, the sun god. He happened to be in human form for the day. He was in his garden when I arrived. His spinach was not turning out the way he planned, so he was trying to harvest what little he could. To harvest spinach, you take an empty bowl and push one end down into the soil and wait for the spinach juice to run into the bowl. You would scoop it up and sniff it to make sure it wasn't too old and then whip out your handy dentist-like suction tube that would take all the juice directly to your barn full of jars. The sun god had a very big problem though. His garden was infested by very small multi-colored jello elephants. So I helped him de-jello elephantize his garden until his grandmother came out and scolded me for trying to keep one as a pet....and that's all I got for now.

Ab's Underwater Wedding with Transparent Adaptable Lungs

So I get this invitation to Ab's wedding, which is unbelievable enough to begin with. Upon reading the invitation, I find out that the wedding is going to be held IN the Atlantic Ocean. So naturally, when the day comes around, I bring my transparent adaptable lungs which I will have to switch out with the real ones so that I can breathe underwater. Everyone has them of course. So I'm standing there on the beach ready to start walking down into the water and I pull my lungs right out, and yes, it is as disturbing as it sounds. I switch in my special set of lungs and charge into the water. When I reach the ceremony grounds, they start with the reception. So everyone is walking through lines to get food, and I spot Uncle Albert, Uncle Pete, Mike and Chuck. I walk over to them and ask what's going on. They tell me that I am late and I'm supposed to be singing with the Mermaid girls choir. This is news to me since I know nothing about the Mermaid girls choir, and also I'm not fifteen. Insulted, I abandon them and look for another place to eat. Seriously, it was like trying to find a place to eat in a high school cafeteria. I went to an open table and sat there. Mike decided it would be ok to come join me, and Chuck tagged along with him. They proceeded to rehearse their ocean chemistry joke that they would later be performing for the audience (Sam chimed in as well). I ate the rest of my sea meat and went in search of mom and dad. Then a strange cold man who could breathe fire underwater asked me to dance. He was very nice and also a wonderful dancer, but strange and very cold. Overall, I think it turned out to be fun, but I woke up in the middle of my dance.

Dreaming in PDF format

I had the most infuriating night of sleep last night. I tried to sleep and I was dreaming about something, but I was trying to find the right combination of scenarios. I had to scan through the computer-like system of my brain containing hundreds of similar, scenarios. I couldn't get the right combo each time I tried. Something was slightly off each time. I also couldn't view the entire file to see what images were in my head until I had opened them. I just kept getting it wrong. So basically, I rolled around in anger and frustration all night long until I woke at five in the morning from exasperation. It was like dreaming in pdf file format, except there were way more scenarios to sift through to make the story right. I hope that never happens again

Mexico joins the NCAA tournament

This one is for all you basketball fans out there. In my dream, Mexico joined the NCAA tournament. My dad insisted that I drive down to Texas and walk across the border to be an interpreter. I drove down like he said, but I got lost in the jungles of Texas on the way. I did eventually make it there, but they were still having tryouts for the team. I woke up before the tournament started, but I must say, they weren't too good. They didn't really have a chance anyway.

The Prince of the Danes, the Potomac Crisis, and the Gypsies

The Prince of the Danes, his sister and I were fishing on the bank of the Potomac when we heard over the radio that a large, scary, angry grizzly bear was running wild in the area intimidating people. We dropped everything and ran for the truck, but it was too late. The grizzly was already standing in the driveway in front of us. The Prince and his sister got in the front to drive off while I dove into the covered bed of the truck. Unfortunately, when we tried to floor it, the bear simply grabbed on to the front corner of the truck. He was 'hugging' the front end of the truck while snarling and being angry at us. We continued to drive, freaked out. We pulled up to a restaurant were I knew the waitress was carrying tranquilizers on her. I brought her out of the car to give our big furry nuisance a shot in the back. He had cornered my friends. so I ran up behind him and plunged tranquilizers into his spinal cord. He froze in place and fell over sideways. 

At some later point the sister was helping the waitress tranquilize animals in the restaurant while the Prince and I continued on down the road in our truck to see what all the noise was traveling our way. We didn't get very far before a tank ran us off the road while fleeing from the rising water of the Potomac River which was climbing alarmingly up the road after us. We tried to illegally U in the middle of the road, but the truck was taken by the water. We struggled against, but couldn't quite escape the surging current. We were pulled out by a bunch of gypsies who insisted that we take a turn through their mall. They owned such an awesome shop (on a cliff way above the water). I was wandering through when one of the gypsies asked me what I was planning to do with my future. I told her I was going to be a videographer. She was really into the idea and showed me some of her finest linens which I should of course take for the interview I will need to get my job. I think I stepped in some other dimension as I was following her because I was sucked outside. There were lines of tv moms passing me and one stopped to harass me, but I definitely wasn't about to take anything from her. We started fighting and wounded her ego, so I won. I found my way back to the gypsy shop, but when I did the gypsy woman told me there was someone waiting for me out in the parking lot. I made my way out and my best friend from Baltimore, Mandy, (we grew up together there until she moved away to Georgia. We were good friends for a long time afterwards too, until my family moved to Hagerstown) was standing there. I ran over to her and hugged her, but she was a actually a ghost. She could hug me, but I couldn't feel any of it. I introduced her to the Prince of the Danes and we all chatted the afternoon away. 

Honorable Mention

Last night I was a mail lady and a driver for a bunch of extra terrestrials. I lived in a house with them. They were oddly shaped, (like most e.t.'s I've imagined before) but they were very thoughtful. It was Christmas time. Instead of exchanging gifts, we exchanged cards and poems. It got weird from then on, so I will just leave that part off for today.

Moll in None-of-this-makes-senseland

I was trying to get to the shower stalls on the corner wall street. The owls were there guarding the doors and generally being a menace. I had to fight my way to get through. Inside the shower stalls were the little vendors, and I mean little, like Hobbits or Dwarfs. They were selling Valentine's products along with other unknown items. I was there on an errand for my mom. She wanted me to get a Wedding present for my sister who having her second wedding (like second breakfast). See in this world you may only marry when you have graduated college. Once you have committed to marrying someone, you must have a ceremony for each individual. If you graduate in the same year, you may combine the two services into one, but if you graduate in different years, you would have two ceremonies. One ceremony for each year of the graduating member. Anyway, it was Kate's second wedding. I felt a bit like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland because I was on a ridiculous errand for a ridiculous event, and I had to rush to get there on time. I got hung up by some friends at a fast food place....literally hung up. They hung me on the coat rack on the wall which was like ten feet high. Anyway, the whole thing was a disaster, but I did just barely make it in time to see the second wedding.