Magic Pastries and the Ukrainian Soccer Team

I was part of a tennis team. We were traveling around the world. We stopped at my apartment in Berlin to stay for a few days. The appliances weren't working, so mom and dad came (from the US) to visit, to fix, and to rearrange things for me for the day. When I came home later for our team meeting, many of my ceramic plates had split in two. I was distressed, but decided to put it in the back of my mind because I was excited about our team meeting. Out team was made up of mixed doubles players (some I recognized from different points throughout my conscious life). My partner was a boy I had met on one of my Young Life trips. Anyway, in the middle of our meeting, a girl from the Ukrainian soccer team came over to tell me I had been selected to participate in some strange ritual with her team. She was one of only two girls on the team. After much debate and assurances from my teammates and partner that they would step in if I was in danger at any point in time, I went with her. I joined the Ukrainian soccer team in their tent across the town. They were a little hard to understand because of their thick accents, but I managed. They told me that I had compatible genetics for flying. How they knew my genetics, I have no idea, but flying sounded like fun so I went with it. They handed me a magic pastry of power. I didn't want to take it because I thought they might try to poison me. After many of them had eaten their own magic pastries of power and pushed off the ground into the air, I had to try it. It totally worked. I ran out into the field after them and pushed off the ground. I soared up high into the air since the pastry was fresh in my system. It was like swimming, except in the air. It was really fun, but eventually the pastry power wore off, and I slowly drifted down to the ground again. Once everyone was safely on the ground again, they told me that this was how they had been winning their games. They tried to convince me to join their team since my genetics were compatible like theirs. They said I was really meant to be one of them. I refused, so they suggested that I invite my team over. They joined the two teams together and taught my team the ways of the pastry power. Last thing I remember, it was night time and members from both teams were shooting around in the sky above the city. It was wild.

Hybrid Gators in Iceland

Last night, I was a tribal leader...again. I led "the invisible people" (they're not really invisible) on an excursion through Iceland. We had to pass through the maze of hybrid alligators. The hybrid alligators were half people, half alligator. They had human heads with scary eyes and human arms, but everything else was entirely alligator. The maze was in a large enclosed tent-like structure, similar to space mountain at Disney World. There were stepping stones to walk across in the maze, but the stepping stones were made of cardboard boxes that sunk further and further each time someone stepped on them. I think there were like fifty people in my company following me through. The most ridiculous part, I thought, was the ending of the maze. We were left stranded at the top of the tent-like structure and had to jump off........and I had to catch them each individually in a five gallon bucket. I did this until everyone was through. There were only a few casualties. Then we continued our journey in a moon bus that was also sinking slowly into the Dead Marshes of Iceland. "The invisible people" flickered on and off (its our defense mechanism when we're afraid). We were still in the moon bus when a large computer battle broke out, much like a water fight. People were throwing their old computers at each other. It was all good fun until our moon bus plunged off a cliff and into the ocean.

Abe Lincoln and Mel Moore in the Attic

The other night, Mel (Moore, not my cousin Mel) moved into the attic of my old home back in Maryland. She and Abe Lincoln lived there. They had bunks set up and and walls put in to separate the rooms. Abe was doing laundry on the other side, and Mel was cooking. Meg and some other people came up to hang out. Meg started knitting and, we chatted about imaginary numbers and latin. Mel made sphinx lettuce sandwiches for everyone. We sat in a circle around the campfire in the middle of the floor. I think my mom might have knocked on the door below to see what everyone was doing, but then it ended.

The Soul-Stealing Rhino Virus

In case any of you have ever wondered what happened to the dinosaurs, let me put your minds at rest now. I killed the dinosaurs. All of them. In eight days. Last night, I was the rhino virus. I was a bacteria shaped like a rhino that attacked dinosaurs. Not just their physical bodies though. I attacked their souls. I infected the entire population of dinosaurs and stole their souls. Never in my life have I been the bad guy in any of my dreams, but when have my dreams ever followed rules? Anyway, now you know. Sorry for killing off the dinosaurs.

Civil Unrest and GOUS's

I was hitchhiking with my little sister Abbie. There was civil unrest across the Arctic, and Abbie's legs had vanished as a result. We got to Houghton where my parents happened to be staying. I was happy to see them there until I realized what was going on at Houghton. They had been sitting in on a sermon at the Chapel where Justin preached. He was up front in Wesley Chapel inciting rebellion and revolution. I yelled at him from the back of the room, but my voice disappeared just like Ab's legs. Casualties of war, I suppose. Anyway, Justin (and only Justin) heard me shouting from the back, and in his anger, he conjured up a large tornado storm of (GOUS's) grapefruit of unusual size. I was chased out of the building.

Galaxy Conquest Gear and Space Fashion

This weekend while I was home, I dreamed like crazy. It was like dreaming in double time. I had at least five wild dreams each night, but I can honestly only remember one. Meg, my roommate, sent me to the mall to get something for her, medicine possibly. The mall was in outer space. I had to fly to a distant planet where I found a very strange mall with very strange stores. There were humans, but there were also alien creatures which I could describe to you if there were time for that. Anyway, I was walking my turtle through the mall with me the first time, but I had only managed to discover half of the mall that time.  The second time I went alone and I discovered a new and glorious section of the mall that I had never seen before. There were stores dedicated to creatures living on underwater planets, space sports, leading rebellions, galaxy conquest gear, and of course space fashion. I walked through wanting to window shop. Meg needed whatever it was she needed in a timely fashion, so I got down to business looking for a store with no name on the corner of letter C and the number 17 streets. I went to pass through a strange twirling tunnel and slipped on some black ice (yes, they have that stuff in space too). My feet flew out from under me and I hit my head very hard on the ground as I fell. I think I was out for a few minutes because when I woke up there were aliens and humans hanging over my head (which was open), checking to make sure my brain was still functioning properly. The funny part is, I think I really did hit my head on the post of my real bed because my head really did hurt when I woke up.

Spoon-billed Dinosaur Tribe and the Summer Festivals

I was a spoon-billed dinosaur tribe leader. I was the one who decided when and where we would migrate to. As dinosaur's, we would sometimes eat the weakest link. Harsh, I know, but we were dinosaurs. We also had two left eyes and two left arms. None of the other dinosaurs dared to make fun of us though, because we were very aggressive. At some point, I morphed back into a human with all my fellow tribe members. We began preparing for the summer festival which just so happened to be traditionally celebrated on that very evening. I had to fend off a rather irritating boy (a famous football players son) from running off with my turtles. One of my turtles got washed out into the backyard with the hose, but he was recovered. There was a giant swimming pool on the property where we were celebrating the summer festival. I snuck out later that night to see the lifeguard who was watching over all the people who had chosen to sleep on the concrete surrounding the pool. It was quite strange to see hundreds of people laying in the pool area on their towels asleep with the moon shining bright above them. That's all I can really recall for the time being. Enjoy.

Honorable Mention

I had a scary dream last night about more Nazis which I will not recount. I would also just like to give honorable mention to one I had the other night involving a game of soccer against mutants with swords for feet. I can't recall the details, but it's worth mention on the blog for weirdness. I wish I could share more, but my memory is now starting to fade and it's hard to put fuzzy pieces together in my mind making these semi-coherent tales. No worries, I'm sure I'll have more soon.

The Houghton Hog Friend

While I was away, I dreamed about being chased by the Houghton mascot, the Houghton Hog Friend (not the real mascot). I had gone to visit my friends. My roommate Lydia, an art major in real life, was charged with redesigning the entire lot that campus center sits on. She was working on new banisters for the third floor at the time. There was a room full of boys all learning synchronized step dancing (whatever that is). I had only a minute to talk to my roommate and take in the dancing spectacle before a huge wild hog started chasing me around campus. I resorted to climbing on its back, doing a bit of a bull riding act. However, the Hog Friend split in two beneath me, like a cell. He was very angry and had very large tusks. It was so weird and creepy. All I could do was take off running again. Fortunately, I woke up before any damage could be done to my torso.

"We're all just Pterodactlys in the Snow Globe"

I lived inside a snow globe. It was cold and wet. More importantly, I was chosen by the "others" (a strange tribe of people living inside the snow globe with me) to join them. Joining the "others" was basically an invitation to become mysterious and study the giant pterodactyl family nesting in the canopy high above. No one had ever managed to climb the tree and get a closer view of the pterodactyls. I was on the ground at the time being told that I was chosen to join the "others" because I was special (ha, like I haven't heard that before). As I began climbing around the mini forest in front of me, chaos hit and everyone scattered. Chaos of the mind, that is. Instantaneously, everyone became confused and dispersed. When I regained control of my mind, I was sitting in a white room, a very white room. I had landed on a couch in a youth group room with a bunch of people I vaguely knew. One boy leaned over to me on the couch and said " we're all just pterodactyls in a snow globe." He smiled and turned away again. The End.

Hugh Jackman and the Opera Monster

This one is from last week. I haven't been able to remember enough about the most recent ones, and this one well worth sharing.

There is a building with one half a large jacuzzi room and the other half an opera house. I was wandering around the jacuzzi room for a while before I took my seat in the opera house. Hugh Jackman was already there, but I didn't see him. I was off to the right in the middle rows somewhere when this horrible non-human looking Opera Monster emerged from under the stage. He came out roaring and breathing fire. All the people were terrified and tried to run away, but you know how slow going it is in huge crowds. Hugh Jackman, rose to the challenge. He took on the Opera Monster, pulling his super-flyer skate board out from under his seat. He was in the air with a shining lightsaber drawn before the Opera Monster had time to notice. Once spotting his opponent, the Opera Monster conjured a super-flyer skateboard with his mind and charged his enemy. Hugh Jackman winked at me and for some reason, I remember that being embarrassing. They beat each other with the red and blue while circling the chandelier over our heads. Hugh Jackman poked the Opera Monster in the eye with his lightsaber just to taunt him. The crowd roared with laughter. The back doors to the opera house burst open, but I never saw who came through because I woke up.