Turtles

Interuption

I interrupt the epic dream to bring you this nightmare of a tale. A few nights ago in my sleep, Meg became engaged and decided to move out which in turn meant that I could no longer afford to live at this house by myself. I was, by default, forced to move away. All my things were sold off without my knowing and my mom set up a blind date with me at our house which turned out not to be so blind because I knew him. I'm pretty sure I cried. It was such a whirlwind of events that I couldn't be sure I was just dreaming it. I asked my mom if this was all a bad dream and she said "no, this is really happening." When I woke up in real life I still wasn't sure that this hadn't happened, so I had to ask someone I knew if any of this sounded familiar. Luckily, he denied all of it.

Part II

Alright, so let me continue. The three lands were representative of heaven, earth, and hell. So the messengers coming from the North land, were like angels, and the messengers coming from the South land, were like demons. The middle land was earth. Earth was in a middle ages setting, I suppose. The castle were mom worked was a school, unfortunately not Hogwarts. It was a school for people to come and learn basic skills, profession training, and study about the other lands. Mom was a caretaker and school teacher. She often brought me into her class to meet some of her students and to let me help with her demonstrations. I was still too young for school at age 16. It was more like college, I guess, but many people came to study when they came of age. It wasn't required, but it was highly recommended. One day after mom had taken me to class with her, I was hanging back talking to some of the students and she went ahead. She usually took a nap after class, so when I went back to our house, I expected to see her there in her room on her bed sleeping. But she wasn't there. She was nowhere. I couldn't find dad either. There was no sign of them, and I began to worry. I could tell that someone else had been there because the house was torn apart in certain rooms. I thought perhaps a messenger had come from the South land and taken them away, though it was hard to believe. The messengers from the South never dared come to the school and certainly not a school teacher.
As I continued to search a band of soldiers came by my house. With them was a messenger from the North. He came to speak to me. I didn't recognize him since he was dressed like a soldier. He said that a band of men from the South land had come to my house and forcibly taken my parent's with them. He also said that they were taking a group to go after them and that I was to go as well. Never before had a messenger ever come to participate in our middle land affairs, so I knew this was a big deal. I knew then and this was going to be one of those epic journeys that people don't always return from. It was a little bit terrifying, but I decided to go.

I don't want to get into the theology of this world too much, but I will explain a little more later when I post again.

The Most Epic of Dreams Part 1: Introduction

Ok, let's start here. I dreamt that I lived in a different world. There were three main parts to this world, though one of the main parts was only known be legend since no one had traveled there since the beginning of time. We knew about it because there was land to the north that stretched on a far as the eye could see, but also from rumors and stories that had sprung from people living along the borders of the lands. Messengers came from the legendary third of the world.

I was a teenager again in this world. Perhaps even a little younger. I lived with my mother and father at a school or palace or whatever where my mother taught. She was the one who provided for our family. We lived on a small property within the school property boundaries.

The land to the south was the evil land where rarely anyone returned from if they verntured there. From both the Legendary part of the world and the South Land, there were messengers passing through and to the Main land where we lived. Some could be seen by all as they passed through, but some messengers were visible only to the person to whom they were intended to bring the message.

It's now late and I need to get rest, so I will have to continue tomorrow....

The Most Epic of Dreams to Come...

Last night I had the most epic of dreams ever. I don't have time to post it right now, but I just wanted to let you know that it's coming. It will probably take a few posts to get it all down. Let's just say a new world has been found in my head.

The Beast in the Rafters

My understanding of the events going on in my dreams is getting fuzzier, so I'll try to make sense as best I can. I think I was living in a ski lodge with several other students and a headmaster. The lodge was high up in the mountains and it was night time. The Olympics was going on down on the slope below us and we were watching them on a small tv screen. I started hearing strange noises from the rafters above. Some people noticed the noises and were frightened by them, others didn't. Just then, I was grabbed by the back of my shirt and pulled up into the rafters by large beast. I didn't ever see it in the light, so it was hard to tell exactly what it looked like, but it was hairy. The beast spoke to me and told me it meant me no harm. It came to warn me that there were other more dangerous beasts outside our lodge preparing to take us all one by one. It was absolutely terrifying. It took a while to convince me that this creature that had grabbed me was truly on my side wanting to warn us. He said that he would send me back down to the floor and that I would have to convince the others the truth of what he said. To help me, he spoke strange words into the darkness and made a strange movement. When I looked down, my hair was all grown out and black and curly. He said this would be a sign to them, a sign of evil, and that I had to show them and explain its meaning. As soon as my feet touched the floor again, I woke up.

Elephant Trunk Showers, Jim Halpert and the Blarney Stone

It's been a while since I've been able to post anything. I've had nightmares, or I've forgotten what I dreamed so I was unable to share anything. Those days are hopefully over and I return now with a tale. First, I moved into a vacation house with no showers. The reason being this, that the new law in California was that inside showers were now prohibited because of the electricity they used. Instead, each resident was assigned an elephant that they would house on their property. In return, the elephant's trunk would become your new shower head. Unfortunately, I was not satisfied with this solution, so after consulting with Jim Halpert, we raced to the Blarney Stone in order to find the answers to this problem. I don't remember why it was a race, but before I woke up, I had arrived there just before Jim Halpert. I won. However, I got not response from the stone.

Attack of the Killer Wasps and Hornet

Last nights was pretty terrible. It started out ok, and then quickly deteriorated. I was still working for Aunt Sue in the future. I was assigned to help a client in the area of fashion design (no offense Justin, but she didn't think you would be up to it). I have no idea what that has to do with homeschooling, but that's what I did. So I was doing a little shopping online when Uncle Pete and the kids came over to hang out. It was at this point that I started seeing the wasps and hornets. Naturally, I freaked being afraid of bees and all. So I asked Uncle Pete if they could still sting me if I wore five layers of clothing. He said, "maybe not. but if they do sting you, you'll die." I asked if they were perhaps perhaps passive bees and slow to anger, but he said they were not. Just stepping near one would possibly set it off after you. If you looked out across the ground, there were bees every two feet. There was almost no surface that you could walk and not possibly anger one of them. So, before I woke up from this disaster of a dream, I was running top speed from fifty wasps and hornets in five layers of clothing in the middle of summer in Virginia. The worst part of this one, is that its not that hard to imagine and doesn't seem terribly impossible.
Hopefully, I'll get some good ones this week to share.

My Four Stages of Sleep (rated PG17?)

It was as if something in my brain had a remote control. It didn't like the channels and kept changing them in my head. I remember being in a palace watching over two children while waiting for their parents to come back. Then, I was caught in a sandstorm with invisible creatures making huge footprints everywhere that got blow away within seconds. Then I also remember watching as an evil man carried an unconscious man up to cliff. he dropped the unconscious man over the edge to his death, but instead the unconscious man turned to ashes as soon as he hit the ground. He did not die though. Within mere seconds, I could see him rising from his own ashes and coming back to life. The evil man was confused and afraid at the sight of this and disappeared. In the last stage of my dreaming, I was frying some kind of meat. The meat did not want to be fried, and therefore pulled itself out of my pan and stalked off in a rage. It was so bizarre.

Cortez and the Volcano Whirlpool

It's starting to get fuzzy in my mind now, but this is what I remember from the other night. I was in a long ship, like the ones the Vikings had. Cortez was the captain of the ship, and he was leading a crew from Canada down to Philadelphia where there was a volcano. The mission was to taking the long ship into the belly of the volcano which has a whirlpool of lava inside. We were to ride into the whirlpool to end below the top layers of the earth in order to ferry the souls of the damned. I had a special job on the boat, which I can't for the life of me recall right now. All I know is that Cortez was not happy with something I did, so he pulled off one of my socks. Funny, I lost one of my socks somewhere in the sheets in real life. I also bit my finger in my sleep and my dream. Creepy.

Honorable Mention

Well, last night mom lost her mind, literally, and one of my friends was on trial before the ministry of magic. There was also weird fire breathing entertainment at the opening of the trial. Weird.

X-people vs. Paul Bunyan and Babe the blue ox

A few nights ago, I was an X-woman? I don't really even know what my special powers were, but I had them. Probably something totally not useful. Anyway, I was with a pack of X-people. We were trying to execute some plan to save the world from evil, of course. We all got stopped in the security line leaving the airport. This security checkpoint was equipped with swords for each guard. After our leader got the confusion of our mission set straight, we were allowed to pass through. Immediately, we all spread out and went our separate ways. I was assigned to follow an assassin and make sure he didn't make it to the other side of the island. He was wandering around in the park mall. The park mall was just what it sounded like, a park inside the mall with woods and streams and everything. There was no ceiling to this mall, it was open to the sky above. I scaled a tall pine tree to stay out of site of the assassin. I was watching him from above when behind me I heard a loud voice booming through the trees. Paul Bunyan was coming up behind the woods with an axe in hand to cut down my tree. It was at this moment that I learned he was working for the enemy. The worst part was he had brought Babe the big blue ox. Super smooth talker, one of my companions, came over to help me out, but got there just as my tree came crashing down. I didn't die, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling either. And naturally, there after a few words from super smooth talker, I awoke.

Christopher being Creepy

This is not a dream of mine, but well worth sharing. The first night that Christopher and I were in New York I was woken up by him in the middle of the night. He was rolling around in his bed making strange noises. Then out of nowhere, he said "babies." It was very fast and his voice was really creepy, like he was dreaming he was a zombie wanting to eat babies. It was frightening. He because still and silent right after that and had absolutely no recollection of that in the morning.

Ferrying Fugitive across the Wild Wild West

I was away in New York City this weekend, but that seemed to have no effect on my mind. The second night at the hotel, I dreamed that Luke, Case, Ab, and I were stuck in the wild wild west. We were traveling under the radar with a fugitive who would later go on to become Jin from Lost. Uncle Pete met us by the river to ferry us out of the wild wild west. Luke and Ab had to take one for the team by disguising themselves as the opposite gender to make it easier for us to escape. We couldn't quite convince the sheriff of our fake identities and since we were harboring a fugitive, we ended up having to make a run for it. We hijacked a viking ship, and took off down the rapids towards the East Coast. We were tracked but not caught by the time Christopher woke me up.

Honorable Mention

I know this one is from last week, but it is still worth sharing. Some of you may or may not know Richie. He's a friend of mine from down here in Williamsburg. He and his wife Brandi are part of the Bible study group Meg and I attend from church. Anyway, I think I was wandering around in the dark on a path in the wilderness, when Richie appeared at the end of the hollow tunnel created by the trees. He came to help me, to warn me of some unforeseen danger, but I was too freaked out because he appeared much like the ghost of Banquo in Macbeth. I remember thinking of him as Banquo and it was all very confusing. Another shadowy figure started to take shape behind Richie, but I woke up before they could be identified.

Ocean Scrapers and the Elders of Our Planet

Three nights ago, I dreamed that I was hanging around the docks of a port. I don't think I was supposed to be there, so when people came by I tried to hide. One man spotted me and he yelled at me to get over here because my shift was coming up. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I went with it. I boarded a large ship with several other college graduates I didn't know. Five minutes later, we set sail for the ocean, the Pacific Ocean. After about an hour of sailing we came across a strange sight. We sailed past a city floating in the Ocean. It was completely isolated. There were no roads, no bridges, just sky scrapers and water. It was a secret Wonder of the World. The only people who knew about were the people who worked on this particular ship. We all stared until it was out of view again. Apparently, our destination was an old folks home on an Island west of South America. It had an island to itself and our job consisted of appeasing the residents. I think they were like our ancestors and guardians. We protected them and entertained them so that our race would continue. If any resident, old as they were, passed away....so did part of our history and culture. It was like Spock going back to save the Elders of his planet. (Sorry, we just watch the new Star Trek movie)Somewhere in there I woke up, and there the story ends.

The Human Aquarium

So I am with my family. We were going to stay the night with one of our friends. Her house is not like I remember it though. There is a strange basement with strange things in it. When we get through to the end of the new section, I discover an aquarium......a human aquarium. There are humans swimming around in this huge hidden aquarium tank. Their all happily swimming away out there on the other side of the glass. I ran back out of the house searching for the entrance to the aquarium. As soon as I found it, I dove in. I was pretty excited about swimming, though less at being stared at through glass. Many people joined me when they too discovered it. The only thing about this aquarium that was off was there was a 'hotel california' policy, you can never leave once you're there. Ok, so that part seems a little creepy, but overall, the swimming was pretty fun.

The Antichrist

You know its bad when your greatest fear is reformatting. This stuff is really starting to get to my head. Anyway, last night the Antichrist came, and I just knew what he was going to do. He reformatted everything in the world so no one could understand how to fix it anymore. It was horrible. Almost like switching from feet to meters. I don't know how he did it, but I was inconsolable thereafter. I don't remember the second part except the people I saw there who, for their sake, I shall no mention. Sorry the plot line is so short in this one. That's all I have for now.

Honorable Mention

I would just like to say that last night there was two of me, and I was my own padawan. This also means, I was legitimately talking to myself. I admit, the idea is pretty bogus, but it was pretty cool at the same time. I don't remember much else, it was fuzzy.

A Grand Return

I'm back! I've been a bit busy lately, but also my dreams were going through a semi-normal stage. Whether because I didn't find them amusing or because I didn't have time, did not post any of the past couple weeks. The spell has been broken and I am here to share more disturbing images from the mind of Moll with you.

Last night I was sent to a storage unit by one of my friends who wanted help moving some things. I arrived at his storage unit only to find it filled with small gnomes of the garden variety. They moved and spoke and their voices were very high and screechy rather than deep like you would expect from a manly-looking gnome. I wasn't sure what to do with them, so I told them all to link arms and follow me so no one would be lost. It was weird walking through the streets being followed by a long chain of squeaky garden gnomes singing Take It Easy by the Eagles. They crackled as they walked (like Snap, Crackle, Pop for anyone who remembers them). I took them with my to my volleyball game. It was a tournament game and I was late. I sat them all in the far left section of the seats in the warehouse so they would be out of the way. Then I grabbed some teenagers from the stands and went in the next room to warm up. If a volleyball could be made into a lamp shade, it would look like the one I was using. There were two holes in the ball, one on opposites of each other. I suppose it was the force that was keeping the ball in its shape. In this back room there were bones piled up on one side, but apparently that is normal, so I wasn't concerned. The room was lit by the light of lightning bugs. This is when my cousin Mike walked in and said these words, "College will make bones of us all." Then I was startled out of my sleep by the sound of Ben singing in the shower. So I shall leave you with those happy thoughts.

Honorable Mention

Last night's was quite violent (I think 24 is starting to sink into my subconscious) so I will not be describing it. It was very adventurous though. I was hiding from three assassins. They were trying to kill me, but I won. Because when I'm scared, I'm more powerful. One of them came at me with a drill. Those of you who remember last season of 24 will be able to imagine that a little better. As I was fleeing, I sang the roman numeral version of the big rig song. Apparently, that helped. I also called my friend Maryanne for back up which she failed to do. But basically, I won in the end.

" It's not your time yet, Moll"

Sometimes, the things people say to me in dreams are just so........confusing? entertaining? ridiculous? profound? non-specific? pointless? perfect? subtle? sacrilegious? unnatural? I don't know. They're a bit of everything really. This one is one of my favorites.(Several nights ago) At the time, I was going to see my doctor for a check up, play soccer with the local Indians and cut down Christmas trees....simultaneously. (How can I do all these things at once? I'll tell you. I don't know, but I was) Anyway, Meg, who happens to be a constant presence in my dreams walked up behind me and said into my ear "It's not your time yet, Moll." That was it. She disappeared right after she said that. I think under any other circumstances, I would find it totally creepy. Instead, as I dreamed, I remember simply feeling confused. Questions came to mind such as: What's it not my time for? They remain unanswered though, so anyone who would like to give input....please, feel free.

Man Fiction?

Yes, it has been a little while since I shared anything. In the past several nights, I've had more nightmares than dreams, so I haven't been able to share those. However, last night appeared to be a mix between both dream and nightmare. It was scary, but not in the way that you might think. I was the main character in someone else's fan fiction. I was going places and talking to people, not of my own will, but of someone I didn't know and couldn't see. I befriended a celebrity. I founded a national mall. I lived in a mine (or a rundown hobbit hole). I think this might be another 'first ever' situation because I have never been under another person's control rather than my own. I don't think the person controlling me was a woman though. I had the distinct feeling that it was a man, which makes it slightly more weird.

Magnetic Gravity Studies and Mink Herding in Ohio

This is really too difficult to explain, but I'll do my best here. I was a magnetic force last night. I don't know what I looked like because I couldn't see myself, but I was also not aware of my strange talents. I'm not sure I even had a body, though I had assumed that I did. Anyway, I was held in a museum while being tested in gravity studies. I didn't care so much for being someone's case study, all I knew was that I was missing the prom and not happy about it. The woman blowing the steam at me said I wouldn't have made it anyway because I would never have been able to get passed the metal detectors. I didn't find that very funny and decided to quit messing with these people. I broke through the glass barrier and took off sprinting. The magnetic field that radiated from me overpowered the security so I escaped easily. Once I was out, I was free to wander in the night, and wander I did. For some reason I ended up in Ohio on the top of a large hill. There I spot a herd of minks or rather, they were being herded by some Elf. As far as I know, minks don't travel in herds. I would also find it hard to believe that they would just be hanging out in Ohio, but who knows.

High Blood Pressure Dragons, Verbal Gardens, and "The Cure"

I think I was in an Oregon Trail type game. I was only surviving glass woman. I glowed. It was kinda cool. Anyway, my brother and I made our way to an international camp ground when he disappeared. When I realized he was gone, I went looking for him. I came across a field of angry dragons and decided the best way to search would be by air. So I pulled my special spherical tire bike up onto the roof of the stable and drove off. Obviously, I could make my bike fly with my mind, so I scanned the ground below me. There were soldiers scattered through the field of angry dragons. They were running around like someone might if they were lost in a maze. My brother had fled the scene to retrieve "the cure." Honestly, you're guess is as good as mine, but "the cure" was not an idea or information, it was a physical, tangible object possibly in nucleic form. Then someone I know, who happened to be on the ground, stopped me in midair with his mind. I float back down to the ground and followed him into a verbal garden. He told me not to worry about the dragons. They were just having high blood pressure today. Instead, he asked me if I could account for all my past nicknames. I'm not even sure I know what that means, but I just knew that he wasn't supposed to know anything about that. It was startling, so I ran for it. I just thought of a hilarious comparison to make with my reaction, but I can't write it because I would not be the only person embarrassed by it. So anyway, I was busy being chased right before I woke up.

Honorable Mention

Two nights ago I was attacked by the KGB. They came to my house and forked it. Not the lawn, the house. They forked the house. I don't think they came to kill me or harm me, but they more or less came to intimidate me. Then one of my friends ran off with one of the KGB guys. His name was Slav.

Honorable Mention

Last night I stalked a witch. I followed her through a Czechs candle department store and into a great concert hall where she was quest speaking. No, not guest speaking, quest speaking. She stood in front of a large crowd of fans to share about questing. I'll add more as I remember it.

The Garden of the sun god and his infestation of Multi-Colored Jello Elephants

It's hard to say exactly where I was. I think Spain. I can't even remember all the parts to this story. I think it was a three-parter, but I only remember the last one well enough to share. I went over to see my friend, the sun god. He happened to be in human form for the day. He was in his garden when I arrived. His spinach was not turning out the way he planned, so he was trying to harvest what little he could. To harvest spinach, you take an empty bowl and push one end down into the soil and wait for the spinach juice to run into the bowl. You would scoop it up and sniff it to make sure it wasn't too old and then whip out your handy dentist-like suction tube that would take all the juice directly to your barn full of jars. The sun god had a very big problem though. His garden was infested by very small multi-colored jello elephants. So I helped him de-jello elephantize his garden until his grandmother came out and scolded me for trying to keep one as a pet....and that's all I got for now.

Ab's Underwater Wedding with Transparent Adaptable Lungs

So I get this invitation to Ab's wedding, which is unbelievable enough to begin with. Upon reading the invitation, I find out that the wedding is going to be held IN the Atlantic Ocean. So naturally, when the day comes around, I bring my transparent adaptable lungs which I will have to switch out with the real ones so that I can breathe underwater. Everyone has them of course. So I'm standing there on the beach ready to start walking down into the water and I pull my lungs right out, and yes, it is as disturbing as it sounds. I switch in my special set of lungs and charge into the water. When I reach the ceremony grounds, they start with the reception. So everyone is walking through lines to get food, and I spot Uncle Albert, Uncle Pete, Mike and Chuck. I walk over to them and ask what's going on. They tell me that I am late and I'm supposed to be singing with the Mermaid girls choir. This is news to me since I know nothing about the Mermaid girls choir, and also I'm not fifteen. Insulted, I abandon them and look for another place to eat. Seriously, it was like trying to find a place to eat in a high school cafeteria. I went to an open table and sat there. Mike decided it would be ok to come join me, and Chuck tagged along with him. They proceeded to rehearse their ocean chemistry joke that they would later be performing for the audience (Sam chimed in as well). I ate the rest of my sea meat and went in search of mom and dad. Then a strange cold man who could breathe fire underwater asked me to dance. He was very nice and also a wonderful dancer, but strange and very cold. Overall, I think it turned out to be fun, but I woke up in the middle of my dance.

Dreaming in PDF format

I had the most infuriating night of sleep last night. I tried to sleep and I was dreaming about something, but I was trying to find the right combination of scenarios. I had to scan through the computer-like system of my brain containing hundreds of similar, scenarios. I couldn't get the right combo each time I tried. Something was slightly off each time. I also couldn't view the entire file to see what images were in my head until I had opened them. I just kept getting it wrong. So basically, I rolled around in anger and frustration all night long until I woke at five in the morning from exasperation. It was like dreaming in pdf file format, except there were way more scenarios to sift through to make the story right. I hope that never happens again

Mexico joins the NCAA tournament

This one is for all you basketball fans out there. In my dream, Mexico joined the NCAA tournament. My dad insisted that I drive down to Texas and walk across the border to be an interpreter. I drove down like he said, but I got lost in the jungles of Texas on the way. I did eventually make it there, but they were still having tryouts for the team. I woke up before the tournament started, but I must say, they weren't too good. They didn't really have a chance anyway.

The Prince of the Danes, the Potomac Crisis, and the Gypsies

The Prince of the Danes, his sister and I were fishing on the bank of the Potomac when we heard over the radio that a large, scary, angry grizzly bear was running wild in the area intimidating people. We dropped everything and ran for the truck, but it was too late. The grizzly was already standing in the driveway in front of us. The Prince and his sister got in the front to drive off while I dove into the covered bed of the truck. Unfortunately, when we tried to floor it, the bear simply grabbed on to the front corner of the truck. He was 'hugging' the front end of the truck while snarling and being angry at us. We continued to drive, freaked out. We pulled up to a restaurant were I knew the waitress was carrying tranquilizers on her. I brought her out of the car to give our big furry nuisance a shot in the back. He had cornered my friends. so I ran up behind him and plunged tranquilizers into his spinal cord. He froze in place and fell over sideways. 

At some later point the sister was helping the waitress tranquilize animals in the restaurant while the Prince and I continued on down the road in our truck to see what all the noise was traveling our way. We didn't get very far before a tank ran us off the road while fleeing from the rising water of the Potomac River which was climbing alarmingly up the road after us. We tried to illegally U in the middle of the road, but the truck was taken by the water. We struggled against, but couldn't quite escape the surging current. We were pulled out by a bunch of gypsies who insisted that we take a turn through their mall. They owned such an awesome shop (on a cliff way above the water). I was wandering through when one of the gypsies asked me what I was planning to do with my future. I told her I was going to be a videographer. She was really into the idea and showed me some of her finest linens which I should of course take for the interview I will need to get my job. I think I stepped in some other dimension as I was following her because I was sucked outside. There were lines of tv moms passing me and one stopped to harass me, but I definitely wasn't about to take anything from her. We started fighting and wounded her ego, so I won. I found my way back to the gypsy shop, but when I did the gypsy woman told me there was someone waiting for me out in the parking lot. I made my way out and my best friend from Baltimore, Mandy, (we grew up together there until she moved away to Georgia. We were good friends for a long time afterwards too, until my family moved to Hagerstown) was standing there. I ran over to her and hugged her, but she was a actually a ghost. She could hug me, but I couldn't feel any of it. I introduced her to the Prince of the Danes and we all chatted the afternoon away. 

Honorable Mention

Last night I was a mail lady and a driver for a bunch of extra terrestrials. I lived in a house with them. They were oddly shaped, (like most e.t.'s I've imagined before) but they were very thoughtful. It was Christmas time. Instead of exchanging gifts, we exchanged cards and poems. It got weird from then on, so I will just leave that part off for today.

Moll in None-of-this-makes-senseland

I was trying to get to the shower stalls on the corner wall street. The owls were there guarding the doors and generally being a menace. I had to fight my way to get through. Inside the shower stalls were the little vendors, and I mean little, like Hobbits or Dwarfs. They were selling Valentine's products along with other unknown items. I was there on an errand for my mom. She wanted me to get a Wedding present for my sister who having her second wedding (like second breakfast). See in this world you may only marry when you have graduated college. Once you have committed to marrying someone, you must have a ceremony for each individual. If you graduate in the same year, you may combine the two services into one, but if you graduate in different years, you would have two ceremonies. One ceremony for each year of the graduating member. Anyway, it was Kate's second wedding. I felt a bit like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland because I was on a ridiculous errand for a ridiculous event, and I had to rush to get there on time. I got hung up by some friends at a fast food place....literally hung up. They hung me on the coat rack on the wall which was like ten feet high. Anyway, the whole thing was a disaster, but I did just barely make it in time to see the second wedding.

Magic Pastries and the Ukrainian Soccer Team

I was part of a tennis team. We were traveling around the world. We stopped at my apartment in Berlin to stay for a few days. The appliances weren't working, so mom and dad came (from the US) to visit, to fix, and to rearrange things for me for the day. When I came home later for our team meeting, many of my ceramic plates had split in two. I was distressed, but decided to put it in the back of my mind because I was excited about our team meeting. Out team was made up of mixed doubles players (some I recognized from different points throughout my conscious life). My partner was a boy I had met on one of my Young Life trips. Anyway, in the middle of our meeting, a girl from the Ukrainian soccer team came over to tell me I had been selected to participate in some strange ritual with her team. She was one of only two girls on the team. After much debate and assurances from my teammates and partner that they would step in if I was in danger at any point in time, I went with her. I joined the Ukrainian soccer team in their tent across the town. They were a little hard to understand because of their thick accents, but I managed. They told me that I had compatible genetics for flying. How they knew my genetics, I have no idea, but flying sounded like fun so I went with it. They handed me a magic pastry of power. I didn't want to take it because I thought they might try to poison me. After many of them had eaten their own magic pastries of power and pushed off the ground into the air, I had to try it. It totally worked. I ran out into the field after them and pushed off the ground. I soared up high into the air since the pastry was fresh in my system. It was like swimming, except in the air. It was really fun, but eventually the pastry power wore off, and I slowly drifted down to the ground again. Once everyone was safely on the ground again, they told me that this was how they had been winning their games. They tried to convince me to join their team since my genetics were compatible like theirs. They said I was really meant to be one of them. I refused, so they suggested that I invite my team over. They joined the two teams together and taught my team the ways of the pastry power. Last thing I remember, it was night time and members from both teams were shooting around in the sky above the city. It was wild.

Hybrid Gators in Iceland

Last night, I was a tribal leader...again. I led "the invisible people" (they're not really invisible) on an excursion through Iceland. We had to pass through the maze of hybrid alligators. The hybrid alligators were half people, half alligator. They had human heads with scary eyes and human arms, but everything else was entirely alligator. The maze was in a large enclosed tent-like structure, similar to space mountain at Disney World. There were stepping stones to walk across in the maze, but the stepping stones were made of cardboard boxes that sunk further and further each time someone stepped on them. I think there were like fifty people in my company following me through. The most ridiculous part, I thought, was the ending of the maze. We were left stranded at the top of the tent-like structure and had to jump off........and I had to catch them each individually in a five gallon bucket. I did this until everyone was through. There were only a few casualties. Then we continued our journey in a moon bus that was also sinking slowly into the Dead Marshes of Iceland. "The invisible people" flickered on and off (its our defense mechanism when we're afraid). We were still in the moon bus when a large computer battle broke out, much like a water fight. People were throwing their old computers at each other. It was all good fun until our moon bus plunged off a cliff and into the ocean.

Abe Lincoln and Mel Moore in the Attic

The other night, Mel (Moore, not my cousin Mel) moved into the attic of my old home back in Maryland. She and Abe Lincoln lived there. They had bunks set up and and walls put in to separate the rooms. Abe was doing laundry on the other side, and Mel was cooking. Meg and some other people came up to hang out. Meg started knitting and, we chatted about imaginary numbers and latin. Mel made sphinx lettuce sandwiches for everyone. We sat in a circle around the campfire in the middle of the floor. I think my mom might have knocked on the door below to see what everyone was doing, but then it ended.

The Soul-Stealing Rhino Virus

In case any of you have ever wondered what happened to the dinosaurs, let me put your minds at rest now. I killed the dinosaurs. All of them. In eight days. Last night, I was the rhino virus. I was a bacteria shaped like a rhino that attacked dinosaurs. Not just their physical bodies though. I attacked their souls. I infected the entire population of dinosaurs and stole their souls. Never in my life have I been the bad guy in any of my dreams, but when have my dreams ever followed rules? Anyway, now you know. Sorry for killing off the dinosaurs.

Civil Unrest and GOUS's

I was hitchhiking with my little sister Abbie. There was civil unrest across the Arctic, and Abbie's legs had vanished as a result. We got to Houghton where my parents happened to be staying. I was happy to see them there until I realized what was going on at Houghton. They had been sitting in on a sermon at the Chapel where Justin preached. He was up front in Wesley Chapel inciting rebellion and revolution. I yelled at him from the back of the room, but my voice disappeared just like Ab's legs. Casualties of war, I suppose. Anyway, Justin (and only Justin) heard me shouting from the back, and in his anger, he conjured up a large tornado storm of (GOUS's) grapefruit of unusual size. I was chased out of the building.

Galaxy Conquest Gear and Space Fashion

This weekend while I was home, I dreamed like crazy. It was like dreaming in double time. I had at least five wild dreams each night, but I can honestly only remember one. Meg, my roommate, sent me to the mall to get something for her, medicine possibly. The mall was in outer space. I had to fly to a distant planet where I found a very strange mall with very strange stores. There were humans, but there were also alien creatures which I could describe to you if there were time for that. Anyway, I was walking my turtle through the mall with me the first time, but I had only managed to discover half of the mall that time.  The second time I went alone and I discovered a new and glorious section of the mall that I had never seen before. There were stores dedicated to creatures living on underwater planets, space sports, leading rebellions, galaxy conquest gear, and of course space fashion. I walked through wanting to window shop. Meg needed whatever it was she needed in a timely fashion, so I got down to business looking for a store with no name on the corner of letter C and the number 17 streets. I went to pass through a strange twirling tunnel and slipped on some black ice (yes, they have that stuff in space too). My feet flew out from under me and I hit my head very hard on the ground as I fell. I think I was out for a few minutes because when I woke up there were aliens and humans hanging over my head (which was open), checking to make sure my brain was still functioning properly. The funny part is, I think I really did hit my head on the post of my real bed because my head really did hurt when I woke up.

Spoon-billed Dinosaur Tribe and the Summer Festivals

I was a spoon-billed dinosaur tribe leader. I was the one who decided when and where we would migrate to. As dinosaur's, we would sometimes eat the weakest link. Harsh, I know, but we were dinosaurs. We also had two left eyes and two left arms. None of the other dinosaurs dared to make fun of us though, because we were very aggressive. At some point, I morphed back into a human with all my fellow tribe members. We began preparing for the summer festival which just so happened to be traditionally celebrated on that very evening. I had to fend off a rather irritating boy (a famous football players son) from running off with my turtles. One of my turtles got washed out into the backyard with the hose, but he was recovered. There was a giant swimming pool on the property where we were celebrating the summer festival. I snuck out later that night to see the lifeguard who was watching over all the people who had chosen to sleep on the concrete surrounding the pool. It was quite strange to see hundreds of people laying in the pool area on their towels asleep with the moon shining bright above them. That's all I can really recall for the time being. Enjoy.

Honorable Mention

I had a scary dream last night about more Nazis which I will not recount. I would also just like to give honorable mention to one I had the other night involving a game of soccer against mutants with swords for feet. I can't recall the details, but it's worth mention on the blog for weirdness. I wish I could share more, but my memory is now starting to fade and it's hard to put fuzzy pieces together in my mind making these semi-coherent tales. No worries, I'm sure I'll have more soon.

The Houghton Hog Friend

While I was away, I dreamed about being chased by the Houghton mascot, the Houghton Hog Friend (not the real mascot). I had gone to visit my friends. My roommate Lydia, an art major in real life, was charged with redesigning the entire lot that campus center sits on. She was working on new banisters for the third floor at the time. There was a room full of boys all learning synchronized step dancing (whatever that is). I had only a minute to talk to my roommate and take in the dancing spectacle before a huge wild hog started chasing me around campus. I resorted to climbing on its back, doing a bit of a bull riding act. However, the Hog Friend split in two beneath me, like a cell. He was very angry and had very large tusks. It was so weird and creepy. All I could do was take off running again. Fortunately, I woke up before any damage could be done to my torso.

"We're all just Pterodactlys in the Snow Globe"

I lived inside a snow globe. It was cold and wet. More importantly, I was chosen by the "others" (a strange tribe of people living inside the snow globe with me) to join them. Joining the "others" was basically an invitation to become mysterious and study the giant pterodactyl family nesting in the canopy high above. No one had ever managed to climb the tree and get a closer view of the pterodactyls. I was on the ground at the time being told that I was chosen to join the "others" because I was special (ha, like I haven't heard that before). As I began climbing around the mini forest in front of me, chaos hit and everyone scattered. Chaos of the mind, that is. Instantaneously, everyone became confused and dispersed. When I regained control of my mind, I was sitting in a white room, a very white room. I had landed on a couch in a youth group room with a bunch of people I vaguely knew. One boy leaned over to me on the couch and said " we're all just pterodactyls in a snow globe." He smiled and turned away again. The End.

Hugh Jackman and the Opera Monster

This one is from last week. I haven't been able to remember enough about the most recent ones, and this one well worth sharing.

There is a building with one half a large jacuzzi room and the other half an opera house. I was wandering around the jacuzzi room for a while before I took my seat in the opera house. Hugh Jackman was already there, but I didn't see him. I was off to the right in the middle rows somewhere when this horrible non-human looking Opera Monster emerged from under the stage. He came out roaring and breathing fire. All the people were terrified and tried to run away, but you know how slow going it is in huge crowds. Hugh Jackman, rose to the challenge. He took on the Opera Monster, pulling his super-flyer skate board out from under his seat. He was in the air with a shining lightsaber drawn before the Opera Monster had time to notice. Once spotting his opponent, the Opera Monster conjured a super-flyer skateboard with his mind and charged his enemy. Hugh Jackman winked at me and for some reason, I remember that being embarrassing. They beat each other with the red and blue while circling the chandelier over our heads. Hugh Jackman poked the Opera Monster in the eye with his lightsaber just to taunt him. The crowd roared with laughter. The back doors to the opera house burst open, but I never saw who came through because I woke up.

The Underground Origami Army and the Flying Colors

Even I feel like I'm missing something here. I came in during the middle of a war between the Underground Origami Army and the Flying Colors. I wasn't there when it started, and yet I have vague memories of the beginning. Anyway, so I'm what you would think of as 'secret service.' I'm there to protect the other larger, more important Origami figures who are going to save our....type? I was assigned to a large Swan (one of my roommates from college, Cheryl Baggins:). Basically I followed her around everywhere. I first remember being in a room (a human room) with two double beds. It was like our secret hideout. We were discussing the prophecy (made by a human) which stated that one of the Origamis would find the living Origami Tree and end the war. We were discussing strategy, though that was hard to do since no one knew where it was or what it looked like. Just then, our hideout was uncovered by the Flying Colors (pieces of paper that were colored one solid color on one side, and they were fast). Immediately we all took arms (pens which shot out ink bullets) and I made sure my Swan was out of view. I took a few ink bullets, but managed to survive. We ended up escaping out the back having to pass through the frozen room of a diner. The humans liked us though, so they helped us escape the attack of the Flying Colors. Successfully, we got out the back but continued on the run. Much of the army had scattered, but all the major players had managed to survive the attack. While we were on the run, we came to a school where some Flying Colors had been standing watch and saw us sneaking around the entrance. I sent Swan on ahead and distracted the Colors leading them away from the entrance. It was at this moment that I saw it. A large colorful tree appeared before my very eyes. It sat out in the middle of an open field spinning. Of course! It made so much sense now. No one had seen it because a mind had to conjure it. There it was before me, the living, spinning, Origami Tree of Life. My enemies could not see it and took advantage of my pause trying to take me down with ink bullets. I ran to the Tree and grabbed hold of one of the banches as it spun. I pulled myself up into the spinning branches and a great sound of rejoicing went up from the Origami's. We were saved and the war was ended, and so was my dream. (I was not afraid during this dream, so I was not controlling it in the least. This is entirely my imagination)

Band Knife Fights and the Council of Elrond

Let's start with the first partial one. It's all a bit blurry in my mind, so really I can only recall a few images and several phrases. I was sitting hidden in a forest amongst many other older looking people. We were assembled as the 'Council of Elrond,' except that Elrond was not there since he is not real. The issue in question was the destiny of the Wild Beasts in Florida. The 'wild beasts' took a form similar to that of a mountain lion. Then a great cloud of confusion falls and I wake up.

Next up: Band Knife Fights. I remember this one more clearly, but it would be a bit too long to describe in full detail. It started in a restaurant with my family (not my real family). We'll skip most of the details on that because they were just bizarre. As we were leaving the restaurant, we caught a glimpse of a crime scene (I had been keeping up with these stories in the news). There were knife fights breaking out here and there. A famous lady and her family had been targeted. As we passed by her house, she was being dragged inside. She seemed frozen like stone, and she had horrible black hairs growing all over her. Clearly, she had just been the victim of another knife fight. As we became more aware of the violence that had broken out in the city, I asked my father (though he looked nothing like my real father) to take us out of the city. We got in the car to leave, but I noticed in a nearby alley someone, who looked suspicious, following us. He followed us out towards the water where we passed a large group of children that were just there. I was afraid something would happen to them, but it seemed that our followers (who grew in number as we fled) was interested only in us. We crossed the long bridge to the 'outer lands.' We took the pier down as far as the tree house. Somewhere in this scene my family completely vanished, and I, alone, was being followed. I was freaking out, afraid that I would have to fight. When my followers got to the top, I realized they were people I knew....from my band. They were unhappy that I had left the band and were ready to attack me for it, but my some means I willed them into a group therapy session at the top of this tree house. They put their weapons down and we talked like civilized people. The threatened feeling I had before was gone, and then I woke up again.

Voldemort, Nazis, and High School

Last night I dreamed that I was teaching a class at Hogwarts. My classroom was in Snape's dungeon because I was a new teacher. It was dark, lit only by candles which reflected off the water (a pond really) that filled the bottom three feet of my classroom. There were strange things in the water that looked like lily pads, but were not really. I had just gotten word that Lord Voldemort had joined forces with the Nazis. I told all my students to leave and go hide. Each student used spells or ran off until the room was empty-looking except for me. But it was only emptied moments before two Nazis came bursting through my door. It was a bit scary, and I hardly had time to think before a friend from high school apparated into my room (a mere four feet from where I was standing). As the Nazis advanced, my friend waved me over to grab his arm so I could apparate out again with him. Little did I know that Voldemort had taught the Nazis how to apparate as well. We ended up somewhere near a stable and a rather large hill. Our attempt to apparate away from the Nazis had failed on two accounts. First, we were followed, and second only most of my body made it. My right arm had been splinched and left behind inside the school. With the utmost speed, I whipped out my invisibility cloak which I draped over the two of us to hide from the Nazis when it was clear that we had been followed. We hid as they began searching in the stables and the surrounding area. It was difficult to breathe quietly under the heavy cloak, so it took extra effort to be quite. However, just as the Nazis were getting close, I thought I recognized one of them. Unfortunately, it was at this moment that I woke up.